Jennifer Kolari Discusses Dealing With Difficult In-laws

This week at Kolari’s Corner on InfoMommy, Jennifer Kolari answers a question from a reader who is struggling with her in-laws.

Jennifer advises using her CALM method to de-escalate the conflict, employing mirroring statements to show that you understand your in-laws’ point of view. She explains how mirroring actually causes the release of endorphins and opiates in the brain, calming the person you are talking to. Once you have made at least three mirroring statements, you will be able to set limits or ask for compliance. Although it’s often the last thing you feel like doing, following this approach is the most effective way of communicating in difficult situations. Although the Connected Parenting book discusses using the CALM method with your children, it’s equally effective in dealing with your in-laws, husband, or boss.

Click here to read Jennifer’s full answer or check out her other advice at Kolari’s Corner.

"Connected Parenting advises us not just how to parent, but—far more important—who to be as parents. The therapeutic methods suggested by Jennifer Kolari are based not on simple-minded behavioural solutions, but on building warm, nurturing relationships with our children, with insight and compassion not only for their little flaws, but also for our own larger ones."
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