Mirroring Monday – Disappointing Shopping Trip Edition

Start the week off right with examples of mirroring from the team at Connected Parenting. If you’re new to Connected Parenting and want to find out more about mirroring and the CALM method, check out this podcast by Jennifer Kolari (courtesy of Penguin Group USA).

This week’s Mirroring Moment is from Cindy Smolkin. Enjoy!

Cindy Smolkin ThumbnailI was in Los Angeles visiting my brother, sister-in-law and niece and nephew. We decided to go to Target to buy everyone one new pair of pajamas. My son quickly declared that he wanted Spider Man pjs, my daughter Buzz Light Year, my nephew Batman, and my niece – the eldest of the crew – wanted Hanna Montana. It seemed a sure-thing…what department store would not have this reliable and popular assortment?

We arrived at Target and made our way to the pajama section and who would believe our luck: rack upon rack of pjs of all description. A myriad of choices; Batman, Spiderman, Buzz Light Year galore. Uh oh…where’s the Hanna Montana?? As my son, daughter and nephew had already dove into their new pajamas, each of them pulling the pj tops over their t-shirts, there was my niece…looking MAD.

You see, my niece is very bright, very strong-willed, very tenacious, and very dramatic. This pajama disappointment was fertile ground for a BIG reaction. So I turned to her and said:

“That’s so annoying. We found every pair of pajamas we wanted except the Hanna Montana. We came here especially for them and they are not here; that really is disappointing.”

My niece looked at me (a little like I was an alien) and said, “How do you know?” To which I replied:

“Because I know what it’s like for me when I go to a store with something in my mind that I want to buy and they don’t have it. I feel disappointed.”

And she said, “Yeah, it is disappointing.” And then we made our way to the cash. My niece was quiet, with a bit of a trance – like look on her face – almost as if she was saying to herself, “Wow, that was weird. I was kind of pretty mad and then all of a sudden I wasn’t.”

Share your own favorite mirroring moment in the comments below. Or are you stumped? Feel free to leave a comment describing a situation you encountered where you couldn’t figure out how to mirror. We’ll try to incorporate it into a future Mirroring Monday post.

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Please remember that the advice given on this blog is not meant to replace medical advice or the direct advice of a mental health care professional.
"Connected Parenting advises us not just how to parent, but—far more important—who to be as parents. The therapeutic methods suggested by Jennifer Kolari are based not on simple-minded behavioural solutions, but on building warm, nurturing relationships with our children, with insight and compassion not only for their little flaws, but also for our own larger ones."
—Gabor Maté, M.D.

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