Mirroring Monday – Time for Lunch Edition

Start the week off right with examples of mirroring from the team at Connected Parenting. If you’re new to Connected Parenting and want to find out more about mirroring and the CALM method, check out this podcast by Jennifer Kolari (courtesy of Penguin Group USA).

This week’s Mirroring Moment is from Janis Beach. Enjoy!

Janis Beach ThumbnailI was out in the front yard yesterday, enjoying the spring weather, chatting with my neighbours and enjoying their two young daughters playing. Suddenly the call for lunch was made and the squirmish to go inside began. “No,” was followed by “I’m not hungry,” was followed by cajoling by her parents and then followed by “you won’t be able to come back outside,” by “in the house now!” All to no avail other then increased crying and “but I’m not hungry”!

Amazingly a young boy (about 9) from down the street walked by… Let’s call him Sam. He addressed his five-year-old friend with:

“Don’t you hate it when all they do is boss you around! They don’t care if you’re not hungry! All they care about is their own schedule! You want to play more outside!”

Meanwhile my young “I’m not hungry” neighbour had become silent. Sam continued:

“I have to go home for lunch now too…such a drag! See you later maybe.”

Off he went down the street and my “I’m not hungry” neighbour quietly turned around and climbed the stairs to go inside. Her parents were standing there with mouths open.

Kudos to Sam!… a natural at mirroring! His compassionate outreach to his friend and his lack of any agenda (he really didn’t care if his friend went in for lunch) facilitated his wonderful neighbourly interaction! We all have much to learn from Sam! I’m curious to learn more about his parents and their parenting style. I’d bet that they too incorporate mirroring in their parenting!

Share your own favorite mirroring moment in the comments below. Or are you stumped? Feel free to leave a comment describing a situation you encountered where you couldn’t figure out how to mirror. We’ll try to incorporate it into a future Mirroring Monday post.

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Please remember that the advice given on this blog is not meant to replace medical advice or the direct advice of a mental health care professional.
"Connected Parenting advises us not just how to parent, but—far more important—who to be as parents. The therapeutic methods suggested by Jennifer Kolari are based not on simple-minded behavioural solutions, but on building warm, nurturing relationships with our children, with insight and compassion not only for their little flaws, but also for our own larger ones."
—Gabor Maté, M.D.

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