Mirroring Monday – I Don’t Want to Go to Camp Edition

Start the week off right with examples of mirroring from the team at Connected Parenting and share your own favorite mirroring moment in the comments below.

This week’s Mirroring Moment is from Barbara Miller. Enjoy!

A boy of 10 years old was very anxious about starting a summer baseball day camp this summer, although he had been there last summer and loved it. His mother used mirroring statements effectively, although it was quite hard at the beginning.

Boy: I’m not going, you can’t make me!

Mom: Wow, you REALLY don’t want to go.

Boy: Yeah, I never wanted to go back, you made me.

The mother had previously got into a big power struggle with her son, reminding him that he had in fact requested to go back after last summer…it ended in a “he said/she said” and was not useful.

So she tried a different approach.

Mom: You know, it’s been a long time since last summer and you have different feelings about it now.

Boy: Yeah, and last year I made a friend and then he moved away.

Mom: That’s right, and this year you don’t know anyone…except you do know Sean.

Boy: Yeah but he knows other kids and we’re not really friends.

Mom: So one of the really tough things right now is you don’t have a friend to go with and that makes it kind of tricky.

Boy: Yeah…whenever I make friends they move away, so why bother!

Mom: Well that is really tough and it makes alot of sense that you might not want to get disappointed again…can you tell me a bit about what the counsellors were like?

The boy began to remember how much he liked the counsellors and remembered one in particular that he liked.

Mom: Well what if we take it one day at a time…it’s too much to think of the whole week so let’s just try for one day.

The boy was still very reluctant but agreed to go. It was a bumpy first day, but after that he loved it and said he wants to return again next year!

* To find out more about mirroring and the CALM method, read the Connected Parenting book or make an appointment with one of our therapists.

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