Mirroring Monday: Bursting with News Edition

Start the week off right with examples of mirroring from the team at Connected Parenting and share your own favorite mirroring moment in the comments below.

This week’s Mirroring Moment is from Lisa Seward. Enjoy!

The little girl came running into the room. She was smiling and started to say how she loved the movie she had just watched. She sat next to her Mom. Mom actually moved a few inches and then sat opposite her on the adjacent chair and asked her how her video was. Without missing a beat, the girl plowed into her lap and hit her (by accident) on the chin. It was a forehead to chin charge and Mom was clearly not amused. She got up and went around the coffee table and sat on the opposite side of the couch and asked the girl to apologize for hurting her. The girl stared me down as if to say, “Can you believe that even after all this trying I’m still not gonna get my hug…that delicious hug from my Mom!” The girl turned away from Mom and hugged the stuffed animal splayed on the floor. Mom looked at me and said, “How do I mirror that?”

I’d try something like this. Sitting right next to the little girl, I would say:

“That video was amazing! You loved it so much you’re smiling and jumpy!”

“Yup.” the girl will probably say.

“It was one of the best videos you’ve ever seen!”

“Yes or no.” The child will say, correcting you if you were wrong.

“You’re almost laughing it was so funny!”

“It was the best one ever!” The girl might say.

Then, after three or four of these “calming statements”, Mom can lay the foundation for the little girl to learn how to wait as Mom says goodbye at the door.

“You are so good at telling me stories about what you just saw on TV. I need you to wait until I finish with my friend and tell me later when my friend leaves or when we’re having dinner. If not, I’m going to have to take away video time after dinner.”

Then Mom can disengage and say a quick goodbye.

* To find out more about mirroring and the CALM method, read the Connected Parenting book or make an appointment with one of our therapists.

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