As 2009 winds down, here’s a list of our favorite parenting posts of the year:

5. Morning Madness: Jennifer Kolari’s suggestions for starting the day right.

4. Understanding Your Partner’s Parenting Style: Does it drive you crazy when your spouse does things differently than you would have? Check out this post for a different perspective.

3. Dealing with Your Own Anger: Your kids know exactly how to push your buttons. So how do you keep your cool and show them how to manage strong emotions?

2. How to Say No: Jennifer Kolari points out that it’s important for kids to hear the word “no” so that they can develop the emotional hardware to deal with life’s ups and downs. Read on for Jennifer’s tips for saying no.

1. Zen Parenting: Use Connected Parenting to bring calmness to your family life. Connect and set limits to make your children feel secure and happy.

What was your favorite post this year? What do you want to hear about next year?

David Dobbs’ article in the Atlantic about orchid children and dandelion children has sparked a huge amount of interest. We summarized the article and later followed up with a link to an interview with Dobbs on WNYC radio. We also mentioned that the story was picked up by Lisa Belkin at Motherlode.

But there’s been lots more coverage (see, for example, this or this) and lots of discussion of the Orchid Hypothesis. You can read a terrific debate between Dobbs and David Shenk (also of the Atlantic) about the suitability of the orchid/dandelion analogy. The debate focusses on the dichotomy created by the orchid/dandelion imagery, which Dobbs explains is really more of a continuum, as are most such descriptors. In fact, it’s more like there are orchid genes and dandelion genes and each person will generally have some amount of orchid in them but also some amount of dandelion:

“Every metaphor has its limits, and one of the limits of the orchid versus dandelions metaphor is that it implies a binary, A or B. division of personality types determined by behavioral gene variants: you’re either orchid or dandelion. That’s not quite accurate, for there are several genes in question here, and because we each get a mix of variants among them, it would be a rare person that was all orchid, so to speak, or all dandelion…

For argument’s sake, let’s say there are 10. In all ten, the ‘dandelion’ form is the most common, with the orchid forms accounting for about 20 to 35 percent. So for any given one of these genes, you’re more likely to have the dandelion variant than the orchid. However, odds being what they are, you are also likely to have the orchid form in at least some of these genes. And since the overall effects on temperamental plasticity are presumed to be multigenic, more orchid genes you have, the more temperamentally malleable and mercurial you will be. In addition, the particular combination of genes in which you have the orchid form will color the nature of your malleability…

So it’s not that a person is either plastic or not. The malleability runs along a spectrum, and is a matter of hue as well as intensity. And the consequences of that malleability, of course, depend heavily on experience, context, etc. But the more malleable folks are shaped more dramatically by their experience and react more dramatically, in temperament and behavior, than the less malleable.”

Dobbs also has a post on his blog (Neuron Culture) about whether orchid children are the same as gifted children. He explains that the theory makes no comment on intellect but instead focusses on temperament. The More Child’s @switchedonmom (who first drew my attention to the orchid article), posted a comment asking how the orchid hypothesis relates to Dabrowski’s Theory of Overexcitabilities. According to @switchedonmom, Dobbs wrote her back,  saying:

“[T]hanks for drawing this to my attn. I want to return to the temperament/intelligence/giftedness issue, and this will help. I hope to get to it in the next week or two and post on it.”

So stay tuned for more on how orchid characteristics correlate with giftedness.

Finally, if you find this as interesting as I do, you might be happy to learn that Dobbs has a deal to write a book on the subject.

* You may also be interested in this post: New Research Supports Orchid Hypothesis.

As we noted earlier this year, the U.S. Supreme Court recently ruled that parents who haven’t been able to get special education services through their public school may be able to get reimbursement from the school district for private school tuition. This was a landmark decision because in the past, parents could only get reimbursement for private special education if they first tried public services and found them to be inadequate.

Here comes the lawyer-y part: even though the Supreme Court’s decision said that they were eligible to apply for reimbursement, the parents who brought the Supreme Court case still had to return to the trial court to argue that their particular circumstances warranted reimbursement. Recently, the trial court ruled that the school district was not required to reimburse the costs of the student’s private education because it found that he had been put into the private institution to address drug and behavioural issues, and not because of learning problems caused by his disability (ADHD). If you’re even more lawyer-y than that, read the court’s full opinion here.

This week at Kolari’s Corner on InfoMommy, Jennifer Kolari answers a reader’s question about managing the holidays with in-laws who disagree with her about how to handle her children and who do things she doesn’t like.

Jennifer advises the reader to depersonalize her in-laws’ behavior, recognizing that it likely has nothing to do with her. This will make it easier to enjoy the holidays. Jennifer also recommends that the reader prepare her children ahead of time so that they know her expectations and realize that even if things are done a little differently by her in-laws, the rules at home remain unchanged. Finally, Jennifer suggests that the reader enlist the help of her husband and in-laws to make the holidays go as smoothly as possible.

Read Jennifer’s full answer or check out her other advice at Kolari’s Corner.

[Originally posted at Just the Facts, Baby]

Never mind dealing with your child’s anger–it can sometimes be hard enough to deal with our own. I have so many parents come to me and say, “I’m a really nice person. I never got angry or yelled at anyone before I had kids.”

The depth of emotion that you feel with your own child can indeed be overwhelming. You love this little person so much you can hardly stand it, but the frustration and anger can be just as overwhelming. It can be surprising how angry we can get and how much yelling we can do.

Being stressed and tired or trying to do too many things can add to our frustration–but the truth is sometimes kids just really know how to push their parents’ buttons. Whether it’s giggling and laughing when you’re trying to discipline, ignoring your request or talking back, it can be hard to keep your cool. But although getting angry and yelling is a popular parenting technique, it’s a very ineffective one. (If it worked, there would be a lot more well-behaved children around!)

The reality is that we yell for us. We yell as a release and we yell because we’re angry and we need to vent. My rule is: if you’re mad and what you’re saying feels really good coming out of your mouth, then it’s probably not the right thing to say. It’s important to stop and ask yourself, “Am I about to say something my child needs to hear? Or am I about to say something I feel like saying?” You will find that the answers to those questions are often very different.

When we yell, we show our children that we’re not able to control our feelings and, in some cases, we are even displaying the very behavior we are asking them not to do. It’s not easy and we all blow up sometimes but the good news is that when we do, we can always go back and repair. Here are some tips to help you keep your cool.

• Leave your self enough time. When you’re rushed, you’re much more likely to get angry and frustrated.

• Recognize–and reduce–your triggers. If multi-tasking is overwhelming and you’re likely to blow your top at the next person who walks in the room, front load the kids to let them know you need a few minutes and what the consequence will be if they disturb you.

• Simplify. Try to do fewer things and go easy on yourself; try to simplify by doing things in advance. If you’ve had a stressful day, order in and forget about bath night for the kids. Keep it simple and manageable. What good is it if they are clean with a stomach full of homemade food but everyone is crying and miserable?

• Breathe. Slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth several times a day when you feel yourself getting stressed. Check in with yourself throughout the day to monitor how you are feeling so you’re less likely to blow your top.

• Find the humour. Laughing about a situation can be very helpful sometimes.

• Take care of yourself. If you’re exhausted and snapping at people, call in a baby sitter, find a mother’s helper or ask a relative to come in so you can go do something for you. If a spa is out of the question, go sit in a coffee shop with a cup of tea and read the paper, or go for a walk.

• Keep everything in perspective. These crazy times are fleeting and they’re the very stuff you will miss, believe it or not, when your kids are grown up and gone.

Amid a flurry of holiday preparations, many parents are searching for the perfect gift for their child’s teacher. It can be a daunting task to figure out what your child’s teacher would like.

If you’re at a loss, check out Christmas Gifts for Teachers (h/t to Motherlode), a website with plenty of advice and ideas for teacher gifts. The best part, as far as I’m concerned, is their poll of teachers and parents, which reveals which gifts teachers would most like to receive (gift cards, books/music, classroom supplies) and which ones they really hope they don’t get (mugs, ornaments/decorative items, candles/lotion).

For another approach, check out The Skinny Scoop to find out what other people are saying about teacher gifts or to ask other moms for advice specific to your situation or locale.

Whatever the gift, don’t forget to write a note thanking your child’s teacher, including specifics about the things you’ve really appreciated.

The Canadian Association of Social Workers (CASW) chose to commemorate Human Rights Day 2009 last Thursday (Dec. 10) by celebrating the 20th anniversary of the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

To mark the occasion, CASW and the Canadian Coalition for the Rights of Children urged the Canadian government to:

1. establish a national Children’s Commissioner to provide a voice for children in the Canadian government,
2. repeal Section 43 of the Criminal Code (which allows parents and teachers to use force to correct a child as long as the force is “reasonable under the circumstances,” the “spanking law”), and
3. implement a National Poverty Reduction strategy with specific annual targets to reduce child poverty.

Jennifer Kolari’s appearance on the Steven and Chris Show aired tonight. Jennifer discussed strategies for managing holiday conflict and stress. Click here to read about Jennifer’s suggestions or to watch the segment.

In case you missed it, Jennifer Kolari was on Canada AM this morning giving advice about how to manage things like holiday tantrums and good manners when receiving a gift.  You can watch Jennifer’s segment by going to Canada AM and then selecting “Tips for handling kids over the holidays” from the “Canada AM and Jeff’s Videos” list on the right.  Enjoy!

Hello All,

Sorry for keeping you in suspense, but here are the results we’ve all been waiting for. First, let me start by saying thank you to all for the continual support. My pageant weekend was a big success, and I could not have done it without your help. In a literal overnight miracle, I went from being completely hopeless in pursuing the event, to having many willing to contribute to my cause. I have learned the value of having people willing to support me without even knowing my face. This showed me the sentimental meaning behind the contribution of you all, and has created a bond between us that runs deeper than this pageant.

My usual lifestyle includes functioning independently on a day-to-day basis in every aspect. I am not used to having people around to unconditionally support me and my aspiration in the way that you all have been able to present to me in the past two weeks. Every time I received a new e-mail or text from Jennifer I did not know what to say, or how to react. In a short time frame you all have shown me more support than I have received in years.

As I continued through the last two weeks, I was always tempted to question why strangers would be so willing to help the “unknown.” I became aware of how many additional people are counting on me to succeed, how many additional faces are looking at me to be successful in the pageant. I was determined not to disappoint any of you, and to bring home the title that we all contributed to. It wasn’t until I was on stage at the pageant that I realized your eagerness to be of aid to me had nothing to do with this actual event. My interpretation is that you see more than a potential “beauty queen.” For one to show such willingness to another individual, that individual must have shown some ambition or promise. I am still trying to figure out exactly what the motivation was that made you all take interest. The more I think about it, the less relevant it is becoming. I shall no longer dwell on “why”, but I shall move forth to fulfill the promise that you see in me.

The pageant weekend was a complete success. I met new people, made new friends, worked with a really good team, and most importantly, worked on bettering myself. I had overcome a lot of challenges, portrayed a high level of confidence, built my self-esteem, yet still left room for improvement. This past weekend was not about being competitive or outshining the other girls, it was about me, and defining who I am to the world.

The best way to start this new paragraph is by announcing that I AM MISS TEEN GTA-WORLD!!! Out of 60 girls, 15 finalists were chosen to move on to nationals, where they will crown Miss Teen Canada-World 2010. Fortunately, I am one of those lucky girls. At Nationals, I will be competing against another 60 girls from across Canada. My duties as Miss Teen GTA-World are to continue to be a positive role model, promote my title by attending events throughout the GTA, obtain a lot of media exposure, and of course do a lot of fundraising for Free the Children Foundation. My platform will continue to be Conquering the Odds, and my campaign will be called: WE WIN. The preparation for this pageant will be more challenging than the first. The responsibilities have increased, the chances have increased, and the fees have definitely increased. I am determined to make the best out of this experience.

Once again, I would like to say thank you to all. This is only the beginning, and I will definitely make you all proud! If there are any appearances that you would like me to make, or if you have any suggestions for sponsorships, fundraising ideas, etc. Please feel free to make the suggestions to Jennifer, or you could contact me, or both. This is officially the start to a wonderful and life-changing experience, and I could not have done it without you all. WE DID IT! I will also post additional blogs to keep you all updated.

Neola Husbands
nh.msteencanada@hotmail.com

This week at Kolari’s Corner on InfoMommy, Jennifer Kolari answers a reader’s question about her hyper 11-month-old boy. Jennifer calls children like this “gladiators.” They can be joyous, funny and imaginative but have trouble settling or knowing when enough is enough.

Jennifer advises staying neutral and letting your child know what you expect of them ahead of time. Adrenaline play such as wrestling and chasing games can help children release extra energy. Other tips include naming the behavior, setting limits and being consistent, and being sure to catch your child being good. Most importantly, parents should make sure they connect using empathy and play.

Read Jennifer’s full answer or check out her other advice at Kolari’s Corner.

Catch Jennifer Kolari on TVO Parents this Sunday, December 13, at 6pm discussing how to talk to your kids. Then on Monday, December 14, Jennifer will be on Canada AM talking about how to prepare your family emotionally for the holidays.

Is it just me?

Or do thoughts of the forthcoming holiday break make you feel slightly queasy from too much anticipated ground turbulence in your house?

I’m aware that this time of year is supposed to bring out my inner Mother Theresa. I should be overflowing with human kindness, serenity and peace on earth, which, for the first ten years of my life, I thought were called, ”peas on earth” and caused me to shudder.

I’ve got issues, though.

My Mother Theresa has been replaced by a grouchy Joan Rivers who has just been told she needs to “take a number” at her plastic surgeon’s office. She would scowl, wouldn’t she, if she was able to move her face? I’m scowling now.

During the holiday break, where is the calm in abandoned arts & crafts projects, the Lego splinters in my feet, the constant requests for food, food and more food that is never the food we already have in the house? Where is the tranquility in cabin fever, colds, complaints of boredom and sibling wrestling matches?

(more…)

Just a quick note to let all of you know that thanks to your help, Neola was able to participate in the provincial pageant for Miss Teen Canada World last weekend. She did so well, she’ll be a finalist at the Miss Teen Canada World national pageant in July!

In case you missed it, you can find out more about Neola by reading There’s Something About Neola or by checking out Neola’s fan page.

Guest blogger Kim Schewitz is a marketing consultant, writer and mother of two.

8:15am. I do not care that I am galloping down two stairs at a time with my children watching, despite the fact that I have warned them against this gravity-taunting act several hundred times. Beads of sweat are replacing the recent soapy shower suds, instantaneously erasing their value. We should have been out the door five minutes ago. A rudimentary shuffle of the front door cabinet contents does not reveal the car keys. Neither does the kitchen counter, the kitchen drawer, or the other usual suspects such as coat pockets, the front door lock or the car ignition.

The children are beginning to stifle in their winter layers. One of them dares to make a previously declined request.
“Don’t even think about it,” (the ask or the negotiation) I caution.
“But mo-ah-m, come on…”
The anger surges through me like an inferno. Not now. NOT NOW, I’m thinking. I command you, through pure force of will not to throw a fit right now, because I and only I have reserved the right to erupt indiscriminately and inappropriately. It is a right of passage. You too one day shall be able to unanimously revoke the family rules as they pertain to yourself.
“Please, do not start this now,” is all I manage to shriek, sputter and beg all at once.

8:23am. I scramble through every remaining drawer in the house knowing even as I go through the frenzied motions, that I do not possess a set of spare keys.

8:33am. Defeat. My husband, who was kind enough to move my car for me last night so that I wouldn’t have to do it at the crack of dawn this morning has now left for New York for 2 days with my keys securely locked in his car at the airport parking lot. I slump to the ground, a single tear of frustration leaking down my cheek, the weight of failure heavy on my back.

As the resignation seeps into every vein I finally concede that the situation is indeed beyond my control and “sheer force of will” and decide to embrace it.
Throwing caution to the wind I yell out: “Kids, get yourself some popcorn and turn on the TV, there’s no school today.” The release is like a geyser bursting, and I find myself an active accomplice in their squeals of delight.

The kids gleefully occupied and my violent flapping suspended, I remember that breathing is another useful tool – not the shallow chesty kind; the deep-to-the-core-of-your-heaving-belly kind and miraculously, I am able to tap into my resourcefulness and come up with a solution. My uncle also happens to be away and I am able to borrow his car. The kids pack up their impromptu picnic and we pile excitedly into our “new spaceship” and rocket towards school. We giggle conspiratorially in the office and they exhibit their late notes like a badge of honour, evidence of their morning adventure. I’m not sure how long the memory of this day will stick with them but it certainly will stay with me for a while.

The experience gave me such cause for gratitude. I was fully present to the yumminess of my children and the joy of being in their magical world. I realized that the greatest gift I can give them (and myself) is presence of mind. I’m not saying it is always easy. There are things that need to get accomplished in a day and there are very real expectations on our children and us as parents, but the emphasis we put on the outcome can be a little off-kilter.

It can be especially hard to connect with our children and mirror their point of view when we can’t suspend our own agenda (in some ways we’re not that much more emotionally evolved than them after all). So I made myself some “cheat notes” for when I forget the secret sequence of how to get through the maze of “this-is-the-way-it-has-to-be-land” and back to my happy place:
1. Stop. Completely. Physically stop moving and pause the thoughts.
2. Breathe. Deeply. More deeply.
3. Think on a scale of 1 – 10: how important is this really? And in 20 years time will it matter?
4. Shift perspective. Look for a positive spin. (Note: sometimes you have to look really hard).
5. Try again tomorrow.

A couple of weeks ago, we noted an article in The Atlantic that reported on a new theory of behavioral genetics. According to the theory, some children are like dandelions, able to thrive anywhere. Others are like orchids, hypersensitive to the environments in which they are raised – both good and bad.

I found a great interview with David Dobbs, the author of the Atlantic article, thanks to a comment on Motherlode (where Lisa Belkin wrote about the dandelion/orchid theory earlier this week).  Listen to the whole interview to hear about the up side of sensitive kids straight from the horse’s mouth.

Other posts about the Orchid Hypothesis:

Following the Orchid and Dandelion Discussion,
New Theory Suggests that Overly Sensitive Children Have Over-sized Potential
New Research Supports Orchid Hypothesis

Jennifer Kolari joined Mary Ito on the CBC’s Fresh Air this past Sunday to discuss misbehavior and what parents can do about it. Click here to listen to the podcast if you missed it the first time around.

[Originally posted at Just the Facts, Baby]

We love our children and want the best for them. But in our rush to give them all the things they want, we may actually be robbing them of important coping skills.

Too often the more children get, the more they want and the less they appreciate what they get. It’s the reason so many of our basements are filled with mountains of toys that are never played with.

Where does it end, and how can we bring things back into balance? Saying “no” is hard–but if you think it’s hard now, wait until they’re 16 and wanting co-ed sleepovers, or expect you to buy alcohol for their parties (a common practice these days.) Saying “no” doesn’t get easier, it gets harder.

And if every road is smoothed, every desire gratified, every disappointment made up for, children come not only to expect this, but have fewer skills to handle disappointments or losses when they do arise. We essentially get in the way of them developing the emotional hardware necessary to handle what life throws at them, making it difficult for them to bounce back, cope with stress, and learn from mistakes later in life. We may be solving difficult behaviors in the short term by giving in, but creating bigger problems for our children and ourselves later.

Getting everything they want even most of the time can affect your child’s ability to appreciate and care for things, to learn to control that urge for immediate gratification, or to know the joy of earning something she has worked for. To prevent that from happening, here are a few tips to help you say “no:”

Tips for saying no:

• Stay neutral and clearly say “no” to your child. Don’t say “maybe” or “we’ll see.” Say “no” if you mean no and stick to it.

• If your child gets angry and has a tantrum, stay calm and tell your child that you love them enough for them to be mad at you. That you wouldn’t be a good parent if you said “yes” to everything. They will make noise and have a fit, but don’t get sucked in. They will give up when they believe you.

• Never give in to a tantrum or whining for the toy, item or activity they have requested. This rewards the behavior and guarantees its return.

• Use a neutral but confident voice–if you don’t believe yourself, they won’t believe you either.

• Talk to them about others who are less fortunate–ask them to set aside some toys or new gifts that they can give to charity.

• Know that you are helping them develop the life skills they need to handle disappointments in life. It’s important for them to know that they can do this, that they are strong enough.

• Help them create mindful and responsible consumer habits by talking about choices and modeling the difference between wanting something and needing something.

• Help them consider the advertising they are being exposed to–teach them to question it and discuss it.

Even a parenting expert sometimes has trouble keeping their cool when their kids are being challenging. And even the kids of a parenting expert can be challenging at times. Check out Jennifer Kolari’s thoughts on this subject in her guest post at Penguin.com.

This week at Kolari’s Corner on InfoMommy, Jennifer Kolari answers a reader’s question about her 28-month-old daughter’s whining. Jennifer suggests making sure you are not ignoring or otherwise missing more appropriate attempts at communication, which can lead to an escalation of whining to get your attention. She advises using her CALM method, listening to your child and reflecting back what they are saying, to stop the whining. Then ask your child to repeat their request without whining and give lots of positive feedback. Read Jennifer’s full answer or check out her other advice at Kolari’s Corner.

Is it just me?

Or are you ever so agitated about an event, person or specific justice-challenged situation that you feel compelled to mutter about it in public? Do these grumblings ever grow in volume and clarity to the point at which strangers begin to look at you askance or possibly cross to the other side of the street?

If your answer is yes, read on. If your answer is no . . . liar, liar, pants on fire.

According to family lore, I was born talking to myself. I was always taught to speak nicely and with respect to my parents. Hence, particularly during my adolescence, there were some extremely quiet months in our household, broken only by what my mother called, “the angry ghost”. That was me in my room, the backyard or in a corner of the kitchen growling all the disrespectful, nasty, wrath-inviting things I couldn’t bring myself to say to others. I was both fearful and resourceful.

During the nineties, as a progressive mother I tried to foster free speech and confidence in my children. Apparently, I succeeded. My boys are versatile at speaking their minds. I’m sure, in their hearts, they venerate my husband and me. They don’t always show consideration for our ears though and sometimes, I wish we’d instilled a little more healthy fear. Lately, I’ve noticed a new development: my thirteen year-old son, Charlie, is riffing off his mother, muttering to himself in his room, in the car, at the dinner-table. Should I be worried?

As a young adult, I learned to curb my desire to soliloquy aloud when angry. I alternately smoked, drank, ran and ate chips, instead. When I had my first child in my thirties, I discovered that I could revert to public monologuing. When you walk an infant in a stroller, it is socially acceptable to speak out loud even when you’re bitching about how your jeans don’t fit or how “funny Daddy” put your cashmere sweater in the washing machine. You’re talking directly to another human being – the fact that this person can only burp, laugh or baby-talk is an unimportant detail. You are still considered sane. You are having a conversation.

Last week, I was in the Children’s section of a large bookstore. As I perused the early chapter books, I could hear a little kid crying in the distance, revving him or herself up for a major tantrum. Of course, all I could think was, “Not mine! Yay!”

Moments later, the mother of this sputtering, sweating five year-old, put him on the floor facing a bookshelf quite close to where I was standing – a makeshift time-out, I thought. The little boy sobbed: “I hate this stupid store! Everything here is too expensive so I’m not allowed to get anything. Why did she even bring me here if I can’t choose anything? It’s not fair.”

Two things simultaneously occurred to me as I listened to the boy’s diatribe. The first was that he was actually organizing his thoughts and feelings as he screamed them at the bookshelf. The second, and of even greater importance, was that giving voice to his emotions calmed the child down. In less than a minute, he had sucked up his snot and bounded back to his waiting mom, again ready to take on the unjustness of the bookstore and beyond. Little did the boy know that if he’d stayed put for another moment, I would have gladly offered to buy him anything in the place because his rant had touched my heart with its simplicity of content and purpose.

At what age must we put the kibosh on kids or on anyone getting their rage out of their systems? By howling at the injustice of it all, this little boy had effectively soothed himself in a manner that no amount of hugs or explanations could have equaled. Nobody thought he was crazy. Yet, if a teenager or an adult ever wailed like that in public, we would all assume that someone was off his meds. Maybe, muttering is a compromise that should be borne and applauded, allowing the child within to soothe the outer adult without frightening the world.

I’ve decided to let Charlie mutter, grumble, growl and moan. Occasionally, I will ask him to take the angry ghost to his room for a full exorcism so that the rest of the family can at least hear ourselves think in peace, but otherwise I’m thankful he has inherited this gene. I believe it will keep his blood pressure down through all the unfair trials to come.

As for me, I recently purchased one of those new ear-pieces that invisibly connect to your cell-phone and allow you to use it hands-free. Though I no longer push a stroller, this fabulous technological contraption allows me to walk around ranting in public again whenever I feel so inclined. Thus far, I’ve drawn no strange stares. I am, after all, simply having a conversation with another human being.

The response to our first post about Neola has been amazing! Help is just rolling in. People have been fantastic. I have received great letters of encouragement, people donating gowns and dresses, people offering to send money, kids donating some or all of their allowance. Neola is blown away!!! I am blown away! Many thanks to everyone who has been a part of this!!!

If you missed Jennifer Kolari on CTV News last week, check out this clip of her interview with Monica Matys about how to manage your child’s expectations when it comes to holiday presents. Click on the “Managing Giving” segment.

Jennifer Kolari is quoted in the December issue of Today’s Parent Magazine in a piece on biting.  Check it out to find out what to do if your child is a biter…