* You may also want to check out our Mirroring Monday series for lots of great examples of mirroring.

This week’s Mirroring Moment is from Kelly Parisa. Enjoy!

I am the mother of two teenage daughters. They love each other dearly, but they also love their clothes.

One afternoon, Aubrey (our oldest), came storming in: “She keeps stealing my clothes! Look! She took these pants and now they are all dirty when I want to wear them tonight! She does this all the time!”

So (torn between thinking… ”How many times do we have to have THIS fight?!” and “Oh my gosh, like I have time to battle this out again, in the midst of cooking dinner, paying bills, feeding the dog and doing laundry!”) I took a breath, and mirrored instead…

“Again? She went in your room and took those pants and you want to wear them to dance class tonight! She does this all the time! What should we do?”

Aubrey already had a more relaxed body and the hint of a smile on her lips. “Go kick her butt!”

“Okay! Let’s go! We’ll go kick her butt!” “Storming” off together I could already feel humor in the air and a change in attitude from furious to feisty.

We made our way to Sydney’s room and I gently put my foot on Sydney’s bottom… “We are here to kick your butt” I declared! Sydney laughed.

As Aubrey began to reiterate her claim to her own clothes, Sydney chimed in with the old familiar, “She does it to me all the time! She comes in my room and takes stuff and doesn’t ask me either!”

“So it happens to you too! You have things you want to wear and she’s taking them from you! It’s happening up and down the hall!”

“Yeah, so she does it to me, and I do it to her!”

“You both do it…and you both get so mad and can‘t find the things you want to wear, when you want to wear them! She does it to you and you do it to her and she does it to you…”

At this point, they began laughing (probably realizing the on-going futility of this fight) and I was able to leave them to their own devices (wrestling and giggling). Smiling down the hall I was thinking, “This isn’t the first time they’ve battled this out and it won’t be the last…”

The next week, while running errands with Sydney, I said, “Hey, isn’t that Aubrey’s jacket?”

“Yeah.”

“Does she know you’re wearing it?”

“Oh we worked all that out. We decided we can borrow each other’s clothes (except for a few things) and it’s okay.”

“How’d you guys arrive at that?”

“Oh, we just decided we fight too much about it and it’s not good. So we worked it out.”

A little mirroring and a little humor, mixed with some time and trust to resolve their own issues…a recipe for self-reliance, with a dash of sisterly-bonding thrown in.

Share your own favorite mirroring moment in the comments below. Or are you stumped? Feel free to leave a comment describing a situation you encountered where you couldn’t figure out how to mirror. We’ll try to incorporate it into a future Mirroring Monday post.

For those of you who aren’t on Twitter (or just didn’t have the time this week), here are

RT @ruralmoms: RT @babyfacts: 10 tips for successful fam vacation from Jennifer Kolari author of Connected #Parenting.http://bit.ly/al7jIj

RT @DeborahMersino: Transcript from 03.05 #gtchaton “Disciplining the #Gifted Child: Fallacies & Facts:http://bit.ly/9vjrGL

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RT @HappyHealthyHipTeens appreci8 parents who focus more on what they experience/learn/feel than achievement/performance via @americannanny

Thanks for the mentions! @ToughAct @baronwhite @bfscribner

TY! RT @Hip_M0M: My #FF recommendation: Author of Connected Parenting and Child & Family Therapist, @JenniferKolari (Plus, she’s Canadian!)

It absolutely will! RT @laughingatchaos: @Jenniferkolari Thx for the RT hon. No, it’s NOT easy. But it will pay off in the end. I hope.

Gr8 topics!! RT @DeborahMersino: The votes are in: “Disciplining the #Gifted Child: Fallacies & Facts” will be 7pm/EST#gtchat topic on Fri.

Congratulations @Stimey! http://www.stimeyland.com/2010/03/im-all-over-internet-but-mention-in.html

Congrats @DeborahMersino! And thank you for all the work you are doing!!! http://bit.ly/cyNZXx5 hours ago

Sensory Processing Disorder and the DSM http://bit.ly/cCRKyg via Twice-Exceptional Newsletter http://bit.ly/3Rf615

“Trying harder is impossible when you’re already trying as hard as you can. But you can always try different.” – Seth Godin

It’s not easy! RT @DeborahMersino: A tender, raw slice of liFe w/ #gifted#OE via @laughingatchaos |http://bit.ly/9luoJh #gtchat

Become a fan of Connected Parenting on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Connected-Parenting/85667477170?ref=nf

Thx so much for the mentions! @PinkySparky @Triciadycka@Reward_Mall@denyseduhaime @bfscribner

@Heatmizer_626 Thanks for the shout out!

@projecthappy Thanks for the mention!

Thx for the mention! RT @ParentLearning: Jennifer Kolari Discusses Tantrums | Connected Parenting: http://bit.ly/bMYZTB via @addthis

Many thanks for the Beautiful Blogger Award Single Soccer Mom! http://mythirties.net/2010/03/02/beautiful-blogger-award/

RT @DeborahMersino: Parenting tweeps & educators: Vote for this week’s #gtchat topics.http://twtpoll.com/4duejr Please RT.

@jeliez Thanks!

@rijakk Thanks for the mention!

TY! RT @MADconsulting: Sending ENDLESS hugs to MANY @bfscribner @dahara@SoccerFan18 @Jenniferkolari @rijakk @jeliez @chem_w3 @denyseduhaime

Resources for my US tweeps who have kids with LDs http://nyti.ms/9zPO2C

Thx! RT @projecthappy: RT @happyhealthyhip: From Connected Parenting – Mirroring Monday “It’s Boring” Edition: http://ow.ly/16GJzc

Thx for the RT @MADconsulting: New Post: Seth Godin on Genius and Failure http://ow.ly/16HjND via @Jenniferkolari

Thanks for the mention! RT @HappyHealthyHip: This week, @JenniferKolari Discusses Tantrums: http://ow.ly/16GDkd #parenting

Thx for the RT @happyhealthyhip: From Connected Parenting – Mirroring Monday “It’s Boring” Edition: http://ow.ly/16GJzc

The Middle School Parenting Telesummit is coming soon! http://bit.ly/aZvNqi

@life_act Thanks for the RT!

More support for the power of a growth mindset http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070207090949.htm

Last February, my husband took the reins for a few days so I could visit my parents in Florida by myself. It was incredibly lovely because I gladly reverted to childhood and allowed my mom and dad to look after me. They fed me, took me shopping and my dad even rescued me one morning when I’d gone running and encountered one of those torrential rainstorms for which the Sunshine state is famous.

Soon, for the first time, my two sons, Charlie, 13, and Harrison, 7, and I will be spending a week living under the same roof as my parents. In the past, my husband, sons and I have always stayed in the same complex as my mom and dad, but in a separate unit. Usually, we spend a lot of time together by the pool or at the beach, barbecuing and going out for dinner in the evenings. There have always been, however, hours in the day when we’ve gone our separate ways. My parents like to play gin rummy and nosh on their porch. My kids like to play their various electronic gadgets, fight over the TV clicker and also nosh. This holiday, all the animals will be on the same farm.

I’m worried. Not give-me-a-valium, call 911 worried, but concerned that my kids might drive my parents crazy and that my parents might drive me to nosh as well, a self-calming mechanism I use when life becomes tense.

Don’t misunderstand. My parents know my sons intimately. Charlie was their first grandchild, the one who could do no wrong. My parents spent hours simply holding him and watching him drool and sleep, mesmerized by his very existence. I think they finally realized he was an actual human being with faults when he was almost seven and his little brother came along. Charlie’s reaction to sharing the spotlight was, well, interesting. He is a kind and perceptive young man, but he often chooses to learn his lessons the hard way , along the road that sometimes leads to the principal’s office. My parents have noted his imperfections and filed them under “Who cares?” in their grandchild assessment files. For them, he will always be lovable.

Charlie calls his grandma, “my secret weapon” because she helps him out when he has parent problems. He looks up to my father, his papa, who is possibly the only person in the world from whom Charlie will take undressed criticism.

Harrison is my parents’ youngest grandchild and they are fully aware of how much effort and faith was put into my pregnancy. Harrison demanded to be born. He commands our attention. He was a hoped for but unexpected gift and his grandma and papa adore him.

But.

Sometimes, okay a lot of times, when my sons are together, I feel as if I’m standing mid-stage at an AC/DC concert with a monster truck rally as the opening act. They are loud. They are unbridled. They squabble like chickens over the last kernel of corn.

I know my boys love one another. They have a secret club. My husband and I don’t even know the password – it’s probably something like penis-breath or diarrhea- rain. When they wrestle, Charlie keeps one hand poised behind Harrison’s head ready to protect him from smashing it on the floor. Charlie isn’t even consciously aware of doing this. It is clear fraternal instinct. But, he also gets a thrill out of revving his brother up into intense crying and shouting extravaganzas. He does it quietly. I call him, “gar” which is a type of needlefish that lurks in the shadows until it quietly spears innocent fish swimming by.

Harrison is only seven, emulates his older brother, and is extremely susceptible to Charlie’s manipulations. When Harrison becomes excited or upset, his voice reminds me of what would happen if Elmo drank a gallon of Red Bull.

I am stressed about this trip because we will be living in close quarters. For my father, this is a working vacation and he will spend half of every day using his computer somewhere in our rented two bedroom condo. I am nervous that my children’s behavior will test even the unconditional, unwavering love of their grandparents. Frankly, I am worried that my alleged holiday will become a referee’s nightmare.

As mother and daughter, I am the bridge between these two generations, afraid my role will be more like that of a customs official, constantly checking the travelers for contraband in the form of moods or misbehavior.

The other day, I shared my concerns with Charlie. He regarded me as if I was missing a link. “Don’t worry, Mom. Harrison and I are so happy to be on this trip and live with Grandma and Papa. We’ll be fine.”

My father reiterated my eldest son’s optimism. “Sweetheart, if the boys get too loud, I will simply ask them to shut up”, he said, a smile in his voice.

I have been “catastrophizing” the future instead of looking forward to it like the other smarter members of my family. How fortunate that my kids and I get to be nurtured by parents and grandparents for a week. We will build on the riverbank of memories already created in our favourite vacation destination. And, my parents are fortunate that they get to spend an extended period of time with their grandsons, at ease with the intimacies performed in any close family.

Maybe, nobody needs me to be a bridge after all because everyone has already arrived. Maybe, all that is required is a pack of playing cards, some suntan lotion and a never-ending supply of iced tea and love.

Stay tuned . . .

In a post entitled, Genius is misunderstood as a bolt of lightning, Seth Godin argues that:

“Genius is actually the eventual public recognition of dozens (or hundreds) of failed attempts at solving a problem. Sometimes we fail in public, often we fail in private, but people who are doing creative work are constantly failing.”