As we celebrate our families this Thanksgiving, here are five techniques to be thankful for from the Connected Parenting book:

5. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Consistent limits give your child a sense of security. They know that someone is looking out for them.

4. Staying neutral. Staying neutral keeps a difficult situation from escalating, avoids rewarding bad behavior with negative attention, and allows you to think more clearly.

3. Connected play. Cuddling, looking into your child’s eyes, or looking at baby pictures with your child all cause your child’s brain to release endorphins, making them feel calm and happy.

2. Mirroring. Use the CALM method to connect with your child, match his affect, and really listen to what your child is trying to tell you to create genuine mirroring.

1. Making your child feel delicious. Most of all, be thankful for your wonderful child who loves you to pieces.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Check out this interview with Gabor Maté in the Toronto Star. Maté explains how parental connection produces physical changes in a child’s brain:

“The physiology of the child is shaped by the emotional condition of parents, by the environment in which the child grows up. The brain is hungry for dopamine and endorphins to feel good… Love makes us high. A child looks into the eyes of a nurturing parent and experiences a surge of endorphins.” (Emphasis added.)

Maté will be speaking on Navigating Stress: Caring for Oneself While Serving Others at a sold-out workshop at the Trauma and Resiliency Centre in Toronto this Monday, Nov. 30.

Jacqueline Green has a great post about the standoffishness that often welcomes you home after you’ve been travelling. As Jacqueline explains, this chilly reception results from frustration when you’re separated from someone you’re attached to. After discussing this phenomenon with Jennifer Kolari, Jacqueline decided to try reconnecting with her daughter using “baby play.”

As Jennifer explains in chapter 3 of the Connected Parenting book, “baby play is a way to let children know they are still your babies and to redo some … attachment bonding … that may have unravelled along the way.” Baby play can include snuggling in bed together in the mornings, tickling, rubbing noses, or looking into each other’s eyes. It even works with older children. As Jacqueline explains:

“Baby play is more about the mood you create than doing a specific action. [One] way of doing what Kolari calls baby play is to go over old photos with your child… If you identify what you are already doing that qualifies as baby play, then the trick is to intentionally apply it when your child needs it most.”

To read Jacqueline’s full post, click here.