A couple of weeks ago, the Connected Parenting Blog was the proud recipient of the Beautiful Blogger Award from Single Soccer Mom! In tapping Connected Parenting for this fab honor, Single Soccer Mom writes:

“I’ve decided to pass the award on to a blog that I feel every parent should visit at least once… I am giving Connected Parenting – The Blog the honor of Beautiful Blogger for the beautiful things it can do to your family.

I recently came across the blog and was intrigued by the subject matter.  During a two-hour lunch break, I found myself wandering through a local bookstore in search of the book of the same name, Connected Parenting, by Jennifer Kolari. After reading just a few chapters and applying the techniques described within those pages, I have seen the bond between my little man and I blossom even more.”

Thanks so much Single Soccer Mom!

As far as we can tell, the rules of the Beautiful Blogger Award are as follows:

1.  Display the Beautiful Blogger Badge in the post.
2.  Write 7 things about yourself that people don’t know.
3.  Give the Beautiful Blogger Award to 7 other blogs.

So here we go:

And here are 7 things you may not know about Connected Parenting:

1.  Between us, the Connected Parenting Team has 19 children, ranging in age from not born yet to 29.

2.  The Connected Parenting Team has a total of 2 cats and 4 dogs – not much to brag about but we have the 4 best dogs and 2 best cats on the planet – we think : )

3.  Connected Parenting has therapists in both Canada and the U.S. and we’re expanding.

4.  The Connected Parenting book is coming out in soft cover this Spring.

5.  A Connected Parenting book for teenagers is in the works.

6.  Connected Parenting founder Jennifer Kolari starred as Annie in Annie Get Your Gun when she was in High School and was awesome!

7.  All of us at Connected Parenting are LOVING meeting all of you on our blog, Facebook page and Twitter! Thanks to all of you for joining our conversation!!!

Best of all, here are 7 Beautiful Bloggers!

1.  Sondra Santos LaBrie at Happy Healthy Hip Parenting who just got nominated as San Diego’s Blogger of the Year! Go check out her blog and please vote for her. Sondra’s focus is on co-parenting and single parenting.

2.  Jacqueline Green of Great Parenting Practices, who interviews parenting experts on every subject imaginable and who is currently hard at work organizing the fantastic Parenting Summit – Middle School Edition taking place from March 19-26. Click here to find out more and to register for free for this amazing teleconference. (FYI, Connected Parenting founder, Jennifer Kolari will do an interview on Parenting Super-Sensitive and Anxious Children at 12 p.m. EST on March 26.)

3.  Annie Fox, whose blog focusses on parenting those miraculous creatures known as tweens and teens. Annie tackles tricky issues from friendship problems, to dating, to bullies.

4.  Marsha Jacobson, who blogs at My Child Feels as well as on her personal blog. Marsha writes about parenting, emotional intelligence, and her own journey.

5.  Alyson Schafer, my fellow Torontonian, and an Adlerian parenting expert extraordinaire, who has a great blog that covers just about every parenting question you could come up with.

6.  Deborah Mersino of the Ingeniosus Blog. Deborah writes about giftedness and she is also the tireless force behind the Friday #gtchats on Twitter. Deborah is an incredible treasure to the gifted community!

7.  Jean Winegardner at Stimeyland, who blogs about her life as a mom of three boys, one of whom is on the autistic spectrum. Jean also writes a column called Autism Unexpected for the Washington Times and is the creator of AutMont, providing autism information, events and community in Montgomery County, Md.  Thanks for sharing your story with us Stimey!

David Dobbs’ article in the Atlantic about orchid children and dandelion children has sparked a huge amount of interest. We summarized the article and later followed up with a link to an interview with Dobbs on WNYC radio. We also mentioned that the story was picked up by Lisa Belkin at Motherlode.

But there’s been lots more coverage (see, for example, this or this) and lots of discussion of the Orchid Hypothesis. You can read a terrific debate between Dobbs and David Shenk (also of the Atlantic) about the suitability of the orchid/dandelion analogy. The debate focusses on the dichotomy created by the orchid/dandelion imagery, which Dobbs explains is really more of a continuum, as are most such descriptors. In fact, it’s more like there are orchid genes and dandelion genes and each person will generally have some amount of orchid in them but also some amount of dandelion:

“Every metaphor has its limits, and one of the limits of the orchid versus dandelions metaphor is that it implies a binary, A or B. division of personality types determined by behavioral gene variants: you’re either orchid or dandelion. That’s not quite accurate, for there are several genes in question here, and because we each get a mix of variants among them, it would be a rare person that was all orchid, so to speak, or all dandelion…

For argument’s sake, let’s say there are 10. In all ten, the ‘dandelion’ form is the most common, with the orchid forms accounting for about 20 to 35 percent. So for any given one of these genes, you’re more likely to have the dandelion variant than the orchid. However, odds being what they are, you are also likely to have the orchid form in at least some of these genes. And since the overall effects on temperamental plasticity are presumed to be multigenic, more orchid genes you have, the more temperamentally malleable and mercurial you will be. In addition, the particular combination of genes in which you have the orchid form will color the nature of your malleability…

So it’s not that a person is either plastic or not. The malleability runs along a spectrum, and is a matter of hue as well as intensity. And the consequences of that malleability, of course, depend heavily on experience, context, etc. But the more malleable folks are shaped more dramatically by their experience and react more dramatically, in temperament and behavior, than the less malleable.”

Dobbs also has a post on his blog (Neuron Culture) about whether orchid children are the same as gifted children. He explains that the theory makes no comment on intellect but instead focusses on temperament. The More Child’s @switchedonmom (who first drew my attention to the orchid article), posted a comment asking how the orchid hypothesis relates to Dabrowski’s Theory of Overexcitabilities. According to @switchedonmom, Dobbs wrote her back,  saying:

“[T]hanks for drawing this to my attn. I want to return to the temperament/intelligence/giftedness issue, and this will help. I hope to get to it in the next week or two and post on it.”

So stay tuned for more on how orchid characteristics correlate with giftedness.

Finally, if you find this as interesting as I do, you might be happy to learn that Dobbs has a deal to write a book on the subject.

* You may also be interested in this post: New Research Supports Orchid Hypothesis.

An article in the December issue of the Atlantic reports on a new theory that genes that predispose people to anxiety, depression, and behavioural problems, also seem to endow people with enormous potential. According to this “orchid hypothesis”:

“[B]ad genes can create dysfunction in unfavorable contexts—but they can also enhance function in favorable contexts. The genetic sensitivities to negative experience … are just the downside of a bigger phenomenon: a heightened genetic sensitivity to all experience.”

According to the theory, most children are “dandelions” who will thrive just about anywhere; but some children are “orchids” who will ”wilt if ignored or maltreated but bloom spectacularly with greenhouse care.”

A growing body of research supports this proposition, showing that “orchid” children actually surpass their “dandelion” counterparts when exposed to positive interventions.  For example, one study showed that children with a genetic predisposition to ADHD improved their behaviour significantly more in response to positive intervention than did their peers without the predisposition.

The orchid hypothesis provides a powerful explanation for an evolutionary puzzle:

“If variants of certain genes create mainly dysfunction and trouble, how have they survived natural selection? … [A]bout a quarter of all human beings carry the best-documented gene variant for depression, while more than a fifth carry the variant that … is associated with externalizing, antisocial, and violent behaviors, as well as ADHD, anxiety, and depression.”

According to the orchid hypothesis, “orchid” children perform an invaluable evolutionary function:

“The many dandelions in a population provide an underlying stability. The less-numerous orchids, meanwhile, may falter in some environments but can excel in those that suit them. … Together, the steady dandelions and the mercurial orchids offer an adaptive flexibility that neither can provide alone. Together, they open a path to otherwise unreachable individual and collective achievements.”

Orchids raised in the right environment accelerate evolutionary progress and adaptation.

The takeaway? Parenting is crucial.

“With a bad environment and poor parenting, orchid children can end up depressed, drug-addicted, or in jail — but with the right environment and good parenting, they can grow up to be society’s most creative, successful, and happy people.”

H/T to @switchedonmom.

Other posts about the Orchid Hypothesis:

Following the Orchid and Dandelion Discussion,
More on Orchid and Dandelion Children,
New Research Supports Orchid Hypothesis

Jennifer Kolari answers a question from a parent who suspects that her daughter may be gifted at My Child Feels:

Jennifer explains that in gifted children, the left brain, which is logical, mathematical and reasonable, understands too much. The right side of the brain, which regulates emotion, can’t cope with it all. To help gifted children learn to manage their big emotions, Jennifer advises using the CALM technique she discusses in the Connected Parenting book (which includes a section devoted to gifted children). Try to understand your child’s feelings, even if those feelings seem unreasonable, as well as spending extra time cuddling and connecting.

Read Jennifer’s full response at My Child Feels.