As a social worker and a child and family therapist, one of my major influences comes from a particular kind of therapy called self-psychology, which is based on the premise that as a therapist, you work very hard to be attuned to your client’s feelings and experiences and to be aware of your own agenda and intent. Over the years, I have developed an eclectic approach to therapy that combines compassion and deep caring with consistency and limit-setting. Learning these techniques has been exciting and challenging. It has taken a lot of practice, but my reward has been to see wonderful changes in both the children I work with and their parents. The tools I use and teach enhance closeness between parent and child, lower anxiety, reduce power struggles and most importantly, build resilience in the child, while at the same time bringing out the best in us as parents. My therapeutic model helps us to treat our children with compassion and dignity and to support behavioral change from the inside out.
As a mother, I know how frustrating parenting can be and that we all lose our temper and blow it sometimes. Even though I teach Connected Parenting and believe in it fully, I still get angry and don’t always do what I know is right. What is important about this model is that it recognizes that we all make mistakes and it offers ways to repair and “redo” when necessary.
—Jennifer Kolari