Welcome to the Connected Parenting Blog
Parenting can be wonderful, but let’s be honest—sometimes it’s really tough. Over the years, many parents have said to me, "I wish you could just come live with us!" Well, this blog is the next best thing. Join me here, and together we'll tackle everything from temper tantrums and bedtime battles to sibling rivalry and teenage angst.
What is Connected Parenting?
Connected Parenting is a unique approach that centers around attunement and empathy. It’s designed to help you connect with your child in deep, powerful ways, using compassion as the foundation for fostering positive behavior. Whether your child is generally easygoing or has bigger challenges—like intense emotional reactions or anxiety—Connected Parenting is like having a parenting superpower. This approach complements other parenting strategies and is particularly effective for children with what I call a "gladiator" spirit—those strong-willed kids who tend to push back, often with intense emotions.
Connected Parenting can help bring calm, peace, and connection into your home, making it an invaluable addition to your parenting toolkit.
The Origins of Connected Parenting
Connected Parenting was born from my early work with children facing incredibly tough circumstances. Fresh out of college, I began working at a group home for street-involved youth. These children, aged 11 to 16, had lived through unthinkable trauma. The standard practice at the home was to stay detached, as the children were only there temporarily. But detachment didn’t sit well with me.
Instead, I took a different approach: I sat with the kids at bedtime, rubbed their backs, sang lullabies, and told bedtime stories. At night, these tough kids softened; they pulled out teddy bears and let down their guard. This simple act of caring changed everything. I noticed that, during the day, the kids I connected with were more willing to listen and follow directions.
One girl I’ll never forget stopped before leaving the group home to touch my face, saying, “I just want to remember the face of someone who actually cared about me.” That was a defining moment for me. I saw firsthand the power of compassion and connection, and I knew that empathy would become the foundation of my work. In short connection builds healthy compliance.
The Power of Mirroring and "Ruthless Compassion"
In my early days as a social worker, I encountered another challenging child. She had developed a prickly exterior to keep people at bay, responding to the world with sarcasm and insults. Nothing I’d learned in school seemed to work with her. My supervisor then taught me three principles that have since become central to Connected Parenting:
Mirroring works by flooding the brain with positive chemicals like endorphins and oxytocin. This calms both the child’s brain and your own, helping them to feel understood and de-escalate emotionally.
Benefits of the Connected Parenting Approach
Using these techniques regularly not only strengthens your connection with your child but also boosts their emotional resilience. It helps them manage anxiety, frustration, and other big emotions, often leading to a more peaceful home environment. And you can use these techniques with anyone who might benefit from empathy and understanding—even with partners or in-laws!
Looking Ahead
This blog will be your guide as we dive into all the challenges of parenting. Each week, we’ll focus on a new topic—from screen time and sleep issues to handling sibling rivalry and managing tantrums. I’ll walk you through practical strategies grounded in the Connected Parenting approach.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I’m excited to support you, and I hope Connected Parenting becomes a valuable resource in your parenting journey.
See you in the next post!
All the best,
Barrett
Connected Parenting
