My name is Amber, and I have two kids. Raylin is nine and Lily is almost seven. I was in a gentle parenting group and I was trying to figure out how to deal with my oldest at the time. I was struggling hard.
I was a daily yeller and screamer for years, and I really needed to change something. That is where Jennifer Kolari and Connected Parenting came in.
The kids would yell at me and I would respond calmly. I realized that they were mirroring my aggression.
It was frustrating, because I saw that I was missing the skills and tools to parent appropriately. There was a lot more that I was missing that I didn't even know about!
With Connected Parenting you are really connecting with your kid, not just correcting them. My daughter loves a specific type of doll, so now I try to connect with her by engaging in that interest with her.
This helps when I need to set boundaries, like not purchasing a doll every time we go to the store. Because she knows I share her interest, she is more accepting of why we can’t buy one at that moment.
I am still trying to practice, and I probably do not approach every situation 100% correctly. The point is you are understanding and connecting with your kid.
One thing that has stuck with me is how the course goes over the brain and behavior. Those things are really important to know when your kid is having a tantrum or a meltdown.
I learned to set my emotions aside and focus on how I can help my child in the moment.
I also learned about my triggers as a parent. Like understanding that my child screaming is likely to send me down the path of being permissive or aggressive.
I would not be in a good space or place without Connected Parenting. I would still be very aggressive towards my children.
What makes it really unique is the mirroring technique, and the fact that you are connecting with your kid. Other techniques do not really go into that.
You set up a play by play, and then you get support calls. They guide you on how to set up consequences and help you thrive as a parent and avoid failure.
All parents can benefit from Connected Parenting and learning the different skills and tools. It is important to have different tools in your parenting toolbox.
You can’t build a house with just one tool. Unfortunately, we only inherit the tools our own parents gave us, so you need to find a way to add to that toolbox yourself.
